they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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