Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
