So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My penis needs a shock collar
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
