Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
