There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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