I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Everything about him screamed your future.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
