Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
