I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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