I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize