I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So vagazzling was a success
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
