I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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