Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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