i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
