the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
