How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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