"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
you never un-have a 4some
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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