I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
