We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
