some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
