It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
