Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.

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(707): View more from California

I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor

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(443): View more from Maryland

And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath

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(585): View more from New York

Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover

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