at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize