i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
