his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
