Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
