Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
