I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
