All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize