So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I smell stomach acid.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
