Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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