dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
