My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
