Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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