Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
