I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
