I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
