Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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