Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You made out with two different species that night
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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