I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
