I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
