it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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