Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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