ADVERTISEMENT

• (775): View more from Nevada

  soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.

  Fav 73 1068 13463

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.

  Fav 23 4718 2099

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete

  Fav 6 3047 1248

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.

  Fav 6 1929 909

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.

  Fav 6 556 1339

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store

  Fav 1 425 541

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.

  Fav 2 467 424

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.

  Fav 4 628 443

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.

  Fav 0 60 24

  share tweet
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.

  Fav 1 39 26

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.

  Fav 0 57 6

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (216): View more from Ohio

  I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude

  Fav 0 48 28

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident

  Fav 1 83 11

  share tweet
  

• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church

  Fav 0 49 21

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).

  Fav 0 103 18

  share tweet
  

Randomize