the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
