You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
