you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
