peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
