somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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