I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I could fuck to npr.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
