im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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