i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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