why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
