I'm pants shitting drunk right now
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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