her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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