remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
