My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize