Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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