When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
