I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
