He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
