I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it glows. i had to have it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Watching her eat just hurts me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
