it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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