Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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